Setting Boundaries

For many ‘boundaries’ is an icky word, one that causes stress and issues in relationships and seems like rejection to many. However boundaries are often a marker of a healthy relationship with self and others. They show respect for self and others and preserve relationships. Often times when struggling with codependency, boundaries can be tricky to navigate. At times people get feelings of belonging and self worth by sacrificing their own needs and desires and placing others first. A helpful way to look at boundaries is by imagining a fence that can be extended or retracted depending on the amount of trust, time, and rapport that has been established in a relationship. Often people will imaging boundaries as impenetrable walls, which both keeps you trapped and others out permanently. Having malleable boundaries to adjust for different people and circumstances allows you to practice trusting you intuition and allowing others in to help and support you. If you struggle with expressing your needs, it could be helpful to look at your communication style patterns to see if they include: passive, passive aggressive, aggressive, or assertive. Boundary setting also includes learning to trust yourself, honor you needs, and communicate them efficiently.